Sunday, October 28, 2012

...Apartment Living... ?

After 25 years of living in the same family home I grew up in, I moved in with my boyfriend, Mitch. We only toured two apartment complexes together, and chose this one. The gated community complex seduced us with its amenities, beautiful landscaping, and big apartments. We were blinded by the beauty of having a place together in this seemingly perfect complex. 

Five months later, and what have we learned? Apartment living sucks and we should have been a little pickier when choosing our home. 

Please, be prepared to be both amused and appalled. Dangerous combination, yes?

I learned pretty quickly that in an apartment you hear every single noise. This really isn't that big of a deal. Unless of course the man that lives above you is partly deaf and possibly has a pet elephant. Dude is loud! In case you were wondering, he really likes OU football, Good Morning America, and taking long showers. He's also very clumsy and prefers to work out at 4 in the morning. Oh, I've never met him by the way. It's pretty depressing that I can hear what he's watching and understand what the people on TV are saying. OU lost last night if you didn't see the game... I didn't either but I sure got to hear it. Think I'm exaggerating? Let's clear that up right now! One morning, I heard a noise while I was in the bathroom getting ready for work. I wasn't sure what it was right away, but quickly figured it out when I put all the clues together. Let's play a little game to see if you can guess what I heard: First something that sounded like an animal grunting... then the sound of water in the pipes... then more grunting... then the distinct sound of suction... Then more water in the pipes... Ten bonus points to who figures this out first! 

As you ponder over that, let's talk about the neighbor across the breezeway from us. He's actually a nice person, as are his son and daughter-in-law. He also has a super cute puppy who is crazy but well-mannered. We really never hear any of them. The issue I have with this neighbor is not really him, but a service that our complex provides: Doorside trash pickup on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Here is my problem with that...
That's lovely right? Imagine this... when I took that picture it was about 100* outside and that pile had been sitting there for a couple days. It smelled suuuuuper awesome. I will be fair, I blame the complex for not monitoring this, not the neighbor...for the most part. I mean, he does kind of take advantage of the pickup service. (Side note, it has gotten better in the last month or so. There are only 2 bags outside his door today!)

I understand that anywhere is going to have less than desirable neighbors. (I grew up in Jefferson County... I'm fully aware of this state's undesirables.) My problem comes from the apartment complex itself. When we told the leasing office about the noise, we were pretty much told to get over it. When we said something about the trash, we were told about the pickup service and once again were treated like nuisances. When Mitch mentioned the above instance to one employee, he looked at him like "Okay, why is this my problem?" We've had a few problems with maintenance too. When we told them twice that the bathroom sink was clogged, they told us they'd take care of it but have yet to come. When I mentioned that our toilet was running nonstop, they said they'd be in to fix it yet they never came. We've also had a maintenance guy come into our apartment unannounced at 8:00 on a Saturday night. Just walked right in. He wasn't there to fix anything in our apartment.

We also mentioned to the leasing office that we were having some bug problems. (I feel like I should add a disclaimer that we are not messy people, and our apartment is very clean) Little flying gnats, creepy crawly centipedes, and spiders.  Ooooh, the spiders. I. Hate. Spiders. They're big too. And they jump. We were told that bug guys were already scheduled to spray our whole building. Which was true, because they came last Tuesday. Since then the bugs have gotten worse. I'm not sure why. Leasing office guy told Mitch it was because we live on the ground level. I can understand that. Still wasn't crazy about the giant jumping spiders, but I can appreciate the truth that because we live on the ground floor, we will have some bugs.

Until we found this guy...
Yeah, that's a slug. In our shower. Mitch was taking a shower, and I heard, "You gotta be fucking kidding me!" Then I heard, "You don't want to see what's in here with me." I didn't listen. I should have listened. I am now traumatized and paranoid every time I take a shower. I have to check ever nook and cranny before I'll even get in there. 

**Oh and speaking of being traumatized, have you guessed what I was hearing that morning in the bathroom? Dude was taking a shit and then had to plunge his toilet. Yep, Aren't you glad you chose to read this blog today?!**

Maybe we're just not cut out to live in an apartment. I don't know. Maybe we notice every bad thing about this place because we hate it so much. But it's hard not to notice the endless noise, the trash, and the bugs. But I did say that this blog would be about finding something happy in each shitty situation. (Hee hee hee, get it? Shitty situation? Dude had to plunge his toilet? Hee hee hee!) So what's the happiness in this? I mean there was a SLUG in our shower and I now know very intimate details about our neighbor's bowels. What the hell can be happy about that?!

I gotta say, this one is hard. Apartment living sucks... but we do get free WiFi in the leasing office, which I'm using to write this, I get to live with my best friend, and I can come and go as I please.

And the best part about living here? Just 7 more months till our lease is up and we'll be in a house. And that, my friends, is definitely happy ;)

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